We had walked together for a while
I, being uninterested in him, took a bus to Kathmandu
to do a flight of dreams
and he had pardoned my callousness and followed me
to wherever I went, like a loyal dog.
I called his loyalty cowardice
When I found him dogging me,
I thought he was an incapable traveler, lost and lonely.
Yes, we have been companions for a long time.
He smiled curiously
when he saw me smoking a Sikhar
in front of Shankar Dev Campus in misty mornings
or when I threw a bill of ten to a bard who sang at the Ratna Park
or when I bought books in spite of impending hunger
But never spoke to me, except in dreams that I often had in that dreamy journey
He said, “Chap, we will have to go back someday because we are the one”
I forgot the dreams the following mornings,
always concluded that I was essential to him.
When he peeps at me from the debris of memories,
shows me the happiness I have left behind,
tells me to show him the happiness I never got,
lies down on the grassy lawn I never cared about in the past,
drinks from the spring I never noticed,
I feel shocked.
It looks as though-
he is charging me for my unsuccessful flight
or is competing with me.
He is very far from me, and yet I hear him like he is next door.
I know you can’t
But I urge that I am your soul,
Come make me your soul.”