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बाँसुरी वादक .

जब मेरी हजुरआमाले आफ्नो छेउमा
मलाई सुताएर, जगाएका
मुर्कुटा, राँके भूत, दुले भूत र किचकन्नीहरू
म भित्र बिस्तारै सुस्ताउन थाल्थे
जब झ्याउँकिरीले रातको कलिलोपनालाई निल्थ्यो
कसैले राजवंशी बस्ती तिरबाट बाँसुरी बजाउथ्यो
धुन निकाल्थ्यो यस्तो जसले मलाई सिरिङ्ग पार्थ्यो ।

को थ्यो त्यो वादक ?
किन बजाउथ्यो ऊ बाँसुरी
मेरो सुस्ताउँदो चेतना चिथर्ने गरी ?

तर मेरा आफ्नै पिडाहरू थिए-
भोलि मैले गुच्चा त खेल्नै थियो ।
म आफ्नी घुर्न थालेकी हजुरआमाको
पोल्टाबाट थैली निकाल्थें
र भेटे जति ढ्याक खाटामुनि झार्थे
बाँसुरी बज्दा बज्दै निदाउँथे ।

भोलि पल्ट खेत जोत्न आएको हिङ्गलाल राजवंशीलाई सोध्थे-
तपाईं हो बाँसुरी बजाउने, दाइ ?
‘मुलाई बाँसुरी बजाउन आउँदैन, भोइ’ उसको उत्तर हुन्थ्यो ।

त्यति नै बेला हुँदो हो-
कान्छो कामी क्षयरोगले मरेको
जीवनमा चालीस वर्ष बिताएको घरदेखि टाढा
बेवारिस
अनि हामी पाँच जनाले उसलाई बोकेर लगेर
सिमलको फेदमा गाडेको
धनीलाई पो धर्म र संस्कार ?
गरिब त मर्दै नमेरको बेस !

खै किन हो किन किन
मैले चलाख भएर
ऊ पुरिएको भागमा एउटा कचिया ठड्याइदिएँ
खै किन हो किन
मलाई आफ्नो बाँसुरी वादकलाई आफूले भर्खरै पुरेको महसुस भयो
तर क्षोभ जो लागि रह्यो
त्यस पछि का निकै रातमा
ऊ किन आफूलाई नचिनाएरै मर्यो
अनि आफूलाई खियाएरै फुकिरह्यो ?

A Monologue

We had walked together for a while

I, being uninterested in him, took a bus to Kathmandu

to do a flight of dreams

and he had pardoned my callousness and followed me

to wherever I went, like a loyal dog.

I called his loyalty cowardice

When I found him dogging me,

I thought he was an incapable traveler, lost and lonely.

Yes, we have been companions for a long time.

 

He smiled curiously

when he saw me smoking a Sikhar

in front of Shankar Dev Campus in misty mornings

or when I threw a bill of ten to a bard who sang at the Ratna Park

or when I bought books in spite of impending hunger

But never spoke to me, except in dreams that I often had in that dreamy journey

He said, “Chap, we will have to go back someday because we are the one”

I forgot the dreams the following mornings,

always concluded that I was essential to him.

 

When he peeps at me from the debris of memories,

shows me the happiness I have left behind,

tells me to show him the happiness I never got,

lies down on the grassy lawn I never cared about in the past,

drinks from the spring I never noticed,

I feel shocked.

It looks as though-

he is charging me for my unsuccessful flight

or is competing with me.

He is very far from me, and yet I hear him like he is next door.

He says-

I know you can’t

But I urge that I am your soul,

Come make me your soul.”

 

आत्मालाप

सँगै हिँडिरहेका थियौँ हामी
ऊप्रति अनुदार भई 
म सपनाको उडान भर्न मोटर चढेर
काठमान्डौं छिर्दा उसले मलाई क्षमा दिएको थियो
जब ऊ मेरो पछि लागेर
मैले पालेको कुकुर जसरी
संसारको नरकमा पुग्थ्यो
म उसलाई काथर ठान्थें
बाटो पहिल्याउन नसक्ने लाछी मान्थें

हो, हामी लामो समयसम्म सँगै थियौं 
म वाफिलो जाडोमा
शंखरदेव अगाडिको क्याफेमा शिखर चुरोट उडाउँथें 
ऊ मुस्कुराइ रहन्थ्यो 
म रत्नपार्कको सारङ्गी दाइको कलामा 
दस रुपैया फ्याँक्थे 
ऊ मुस्कुराइ रहन्थ्यो 
म आफ्नो पेट काटेर किताब किन्थे 
ऊ मुस्कुराइ रहन्थ्यो
ऊ मसँग बोल्दैनथ्यो 
सपनामा बाहेक 
‘साथी, हामी गाउँ जानु पर्छ ।‘ ऊ भन्थ्यो 
‘किनकी तिमी र म एकै हौं ।‘
म भोलि पल्ट सपना बिर्सिदिन्थें 
मलाई लाग्थ्यो- 
म उसको आवश्यकता हुँ

हैरान छु अहिले
जब ऊ स्मृतिको आँखीझ्यालबाट चिहाउँछ मलाई
मैले छोडेका खुसीहरूको पसल थाप्छ 
मैले नपाएको खुसीहरू देखाउन भन्छ 
पहिला मैले वास्ता नगरेको सडकको छेउको दुबोमा पल्टन्छ 
मैले बेवास्ता गरेको मूलको पानी पिउँछ 
मानौं कि मलाई आफ्नो हटको मूल्य देखाउँदैछ 
मानौं कि ऊ मसँग स्पर्धामा छ
मसँग प्रत्यक्ष बोल्छ ऊ अचेल 
अनि भन्छ- 
“तिमी सक्दैनौं तर अझै भन्छु
म तिम्रो आत्मा हुँ 
आऊ मलाई शरीर बनाइदेऊ ।“

 
 
 

शब्द उत्सव

कहिले लाग्छ 
रोऊँ यी शब्दका ओजमा 
बिना कारण,
बिना पिडा वा सुखी
वर्षी दिऊँ आफ्नै आँखाको डिलबाट
शरीर भिजाऊँ आफ्नै 
डुबाऔं आफैलाई 
यिनको गहिराइमा 
आफ्नै मृत्युको षडयन्त्र गर्ने पटमुर्ख बनूँ 
तर अहँ, 
शब्द माथिको विश्वास गुम्न नदिऊँ 
म बोलू शब्द-जीवन
म लेखूँ जीवन-शब्द 
छेडूँ युद्ध शान्तिको विरुद्धमा 
यी चिर निन्द्रामा सुतेका मान्छेहरू,
ब्युँझने गरी कर्कश बनूँ
मतुवाला बनूँ शब्दरसमा लठ्ठिने
शब्दको ब्रम्हत्वको उत्सव मनाऊँ ।

@ Sandesh Ghimire

Fretting

Let there be someone,

capable of understanding this fretting,

ready to endear this helplessness

Let there be someone who laughs with me and cries alone

and makes me laugh when I cry.

Let there be someone,

capable of shortening my long nights

ready to sprinkle the first rays of the sun,

awaking me of a void sleep,

firm about loving me to death.

May I be able to get to her magical world,

following the thread of enticement,

to forget the onerous journey,

get lost

even when the world gets burned.

May she come as an eclipse on my life

and hide me in the womb of the darkness.

But,

May I be able to say-

I am tired

Or

I want to get to sleep

and may she sing a lullaby

and may I prance to death,

with my head on her lap.

 

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